12 STEPS - Step 7

STEP 7

We humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings.

BABY STEPS

To actually change the character of something it requires consistency, patience and trust. My son is learning how to walk. It’s an incredible journey to watch. For a grown adult the transition doesn’t seem all that spectacular, from totally immobile to stretching and reaching, to crawling and grasping for support, to standing on his own and waddling from one piece of furniture to the next. It may seem like, well, “baby steps”. All in all, he isn’t moving very far, but if we could peer into the development of his brain and body we would see synapses firing, muscles and joints developing, a whole miraculous world that takes a remarkable amount of energy and transformation to bring him to the point of being able to handle his own physical and mental space.

Like my son, for him to walk on his own, with confidence and strength, it will require trying, failing, trusting and leaning. The inner world of his brain and body are growing, he simply needs to trust the process and keep practicing. If I just pick him up and remove the challenges he experiences during his growth, he will never learn, he will never grow, and ultimately won’t be equipped with what he needs to thrive!

STEP SEVEN

Similarly, in Steps 6 and 7, it feels like our growth goes from explosive movements to a slow crawl, and at times we even wonder if anything is happening. In reality, though, our inner world is under a massive overhaul!

Step 7 says, “We humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings.”

LEARNING TO SURVIVE

When we begin to consider our shortcomings, we are really looking at the patterns of thinking and behavior that we have developed and adapted to avoid dealing with pain. There are legitimate reasons we developed these patterns, and at one time they were probably helpful. Again, if my son continued crawling and never started walking, he may be able to survive life, but he certainly wouldn’t live into the full reality of what he was made for.

For example, if you learned that the way to survive growing up in your home was to become apathetic to the chaos of emotions that were displayed, it probably helped you make it out alive without being crushed under the weight of that dysfunction. Or, similarly, if you learned that you were shown attention and affection for performing well in school or sports, but were neglected when you performed poorly, then perfectionism may have been a coping mechanism you adapted in order to experience relationship, even if it was half-hearted relationship.

These behaviors become massive blockades, however, when we attempt the same type of survival techniques in relationships that are based on intimacy (i.e. with God and other believers). Step 7 is about identifying these things that we have used as a crutch to avoid trust and transformation and begin the process of giving them to God.

ROMANS 5:1-5

Paul says it this way in Romans 5:1-5,

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. 

AN INVITATION TO GROW 

We have entered into this incredible relationship with God by faith, we have been totally exposed and realized our sins have been paid for, and now comes the grand invitation! The adventure has truly just begun, as we embrace the suffering of facing our character defects submit our will and life to God to do in us as he pleases, he begins producing something in us that was not otherwise able to grow, to form, and to thrive!

By embracing the process of formation, that is trusting God, welcoming suffering, patient endurance, and character transformation, we are able to live as lights of hope in the midst of a dark and hopeless world. We live distinctly different, as Christ is revealed in us and through us.

Instead of resentment, through dealing with our hurt and fighting for honesty and transparency we become highly capable peacemakers. Instead of anxiety, through admitting our fears and learning how to trust we become deeply wise and discerning people. Instead of pride, through humble embracing of our need for God and others we become thoroughly trustworthy people.

It’s simple, not easy. They call it a “baby step” not only because it is small, but because of how particularly difficult and therefore significant that step was. When you don’t react in rage, withdraw in resignation, run from conflict, or try to control an outcome, pay attention, something massive has shifted in you, God has ahold of your heart. You are being made new!