Am I Worth It?
I often have tried to, and have heard others in moments of crisis, attempt to justify their anger and self-protective ways by repeating the phrase “I’m worth it”. It almost comes as a mantra, like a wish, "if I say this enough then maybe it will come true, maybe I really will believe I am worth it one day". My concern does not lie in the question of worth, but rather, where is this worth coming from? At some point I just don’t believe myself anymore, I don’t hold enough significance to convince myself of my value and I end up spiraling into thoughts of shame and fear about who I should be, what I could’ve been, or how I can make changes to become the better me.
Well, the phrase that creates real identity is not, “You are worth loving” it is, however, “You are loved”. The difference? It wasn’t something we did or innately contained within us that forced God’s hand to love us, that led us to be desirable to a perfect God, but it rather puts the ownership back on Him. It goes from depending on our character to depending on His. So instead of my best efforts determining worth, really identity, by saying “I’m worth loving so love me” (which is what we are really looking for), it is God saying “You are loved because I love you”.
Why is this important? This makes our identity sealed by an immovable, unshakeable, unconditionally loving, unchangeable Being that is so much greater than who we are or who we could ever wish to be. Psalm 102:27 “But you are the same, and your years will not come to an end.” To have a sealed identity is to live confidently in a confidence not your own. To have a fixed identity is to live passionately with a mission given by the one who loved you.
So how can we know? How can we be sure that this is who we are and out of that begin to live in this new identity? A simple but profound verse… John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” We know because He has proven it on the cross. We know who we are today because of what happened to Jesus.
In other words… For God so loved, for God was so in love with, for God so deeply cared for His beloved, that he gave his only son, his most cherished relationship, his closest friend and most deeply loved, that if anyone would simply become like a child again and believe, to simply hope in and put faith in this truth, it would give you all the life you need, to restore your identity completely and fully to being back in relationship with God as His son and daughter.
Is this your identity today? Are you the beloved? Here are some questions to ask yourself that may help you answer that. Am I motivated to love others because I am loved or so that I will be loved by them? Is there any weakness, fault, or failure I feel is unacceptable today? Am I afraid I won’t be cared for if I tell the truth about my mistakes and fears? Am I more concerned with my appearance (physical, works, accomplishments) than my presence (loving God, loving others)?
Prayer: Father, I have focused so long on becoming loveable that I have forgotten the deepest and most profound truth of all, that I am loved by you. I am you beloved and there is no circumstance, person, or decision that can change that. I am yours and my identity is “Child of God”. Thank you for sending Jesus to restore me back to you so that I can live freely as your son or daughter. Amen.